frozen

been running low on sleep, operating on fumes.

this seamless, cyclic transitioning of night to day and soforth brings an extension to life. the time where i'd spend in a daze has been allocated to putting myself towards tasks that i've never bothered finishing. reading books that i've always promised others i'd read for their sake, watching movies for the same afformentioned reason.

fulfilling promises that were months, years in the making that were on the course of being broken.

with this comes a constant stream of useless, mildy-entertaining thought. because there are some things that i never meant to say but should have. there were times where my input was warranted but i shyed away at the thought of embarassment or nullification.

hell, there were times where i couldn't have cared at all.

but now, sitting on the edge of a cold bed and wondering how small i can feasibly divide time into, beyond the seconds, shows that i've gone deeper than i've ever intended.

time may pass, but it will never erase.

complexity

the feeling of uncertainty that comes in waves courses through my veins and leaves my skin flushed with frustration. at this particular moment i cannot differentiate between being part of the living or the dead. what was once a shimmering spectrum of light has now been upturned into a limitless void.

i want something that will make me feel whole

i need to push through walls that will enable these thoughts to flourish.

i've been stuck in a daze trying to claw my way through obstructions that seem to be endlessly reinforced. what do my current objectives mean in the context of your agenda? does the worry that i inflict in you carry a cause for concern?

i do not know what i love.

i do not want to feel your skin or heart.

filter

there often comes a feeling of repression when things go awry. i had felt a genuine pang of anger and frustration towards a ghost that i swore was wearing your dress.

with a half-hearted sigh you expose the inner workings of myself.

with an elegantly-crafted phrase of words you wore me out.

i couldn't scrutinize your details through the reddened haze. i tried to focus on your hands and how they contorted to hold that silver strand. i wanted to marvel at the feats of human engineering and how you came to grow out of that seed.

i wanted to explore your other side.

i'd like to perceive what comes through your hollow, naked eyes.

lacklust

it came across my mind with a pulsating hiss. i threw myself across a void that caused something within you to react. that was all i ever wanted, a reaction from you. for something within your conscious to acknowledge that i served somewhat of an existence in your sphere, in your microcosm full of the superfluous and meaningless. there is no fear that we're speaking dialects that we can longer relate to.

i found that nothing of you matters much to me anymore.

that there is no romance where there once before.

wounded warrior

some may say that time acts like sutures.

technicolor bouquet

subtle sentiments

lying in wait